Look folks, normally I don't take to the internet to defend people but I think I've found a case that truly calls for my help. I'm a big supporter of Freedom Of Speech and the right that you have to express yourself, whether it be in public or on your computer. I respect that. But seriously guys, what you're doing to poor Michelle "Bombshell" McGee is just egregious. Egregious.
I know that as regular folks, we often scrutinize the lives of the rich and famous. Tiger Woods has even been on the receiving end of my hilarious, hilarious "deleted texts" campaign. But you guys seriously need to leave Michelle alone. Just because she had sex with a married man doesn't mean you should be attacking her like you are. I mean, come on. You know who else had an affair? Hugh Grant. And white people love him. Are you gonna honestly stand there and say shit about Hugh Grant?
You're probably saying right now, "But Dave, she had an affair with a married man! C'mon!"
That's fair. She did. But she did it to help her family, guys! Michelle even said that she continued the affair hoping that she could get money out of the situation in order to "make a better life for [her] family." I don't know about you, but that's about the most selfless act I've ever heard of. You don't see Bono or Brad Pitt having affairs to provide a stable future for their families. No, they're too busy contributing to all those charities. Shame on you, Internet, for attacking a poor, defenseless woman for wanting what every honest American wants: to have sex with an Oscar winner's husband and then sell the story to tabloids for money so that they can use that money to keep their families afloat. You people disgust me. As far as I'm concerned, Michelle McGee is the Mother Theresa of sexual affairs. No, fuck that. Mother Theresa is the Michelle McGee of doing stuff for people for Jesus. 
Maybe we should be looking at the other end of the affair. How about that? Jesse James married a porn star, gave custody of said porn star's kids to a woman who starred in Speed 2, had an affair with a third and fourth mistress and ultimately had a 36-month affair with a woman that has a tattoo on her fore- Woah, woah, wait. You thought you were gonna catch me there, didn't you? Fuck you, Internet.
And really? Cheap-shotting her with claims of Nazism? If posing in photos wearing a Nazi armband, being accused of saluting Hitler in court custody (see? she's a family woman) papers, having white power tattoos on her legs, telling people her white power tattoos stand for white power, having a swastika tattoo on her vagina and modeling for a company called Angry White Girl makes her a Nazi, I don't know what doesn't make a person a Nazi. Seriously, way to reach to the bottom of the barrel.
And what's next? You're gonna tell me she tried to choke her ex-husband to death while she held her baby?
Fuck.
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